Carry On
by OnewholovesSJ
Summary: When Emma needs Killian he has demons of his own to deal with. Songfic of Carry On by Feedback Revival.Oneshot


"Are you even listening to me?" Emma said.

"Mmm of course, love." Killian replied

"Your serious right now? Killian you forgot to show up for Liam and Gracie's appointment. I was there alone. Dealing with something that I should have had your support on."

"What do you need me to say? Just tell me so we can get this fight out of the way and have dinner." He said as he took another drink.

Emma sighed. "Nothing. You are right ,Hook. It's a cycle, for a year now we fight and carry on and maybe it's time to do something about it. I'm going to my parent's flat. I'll come back tomorrow to pack things. You are welcome to do whatever you please. you don't have obligations from now on."

Emma picked up the two car seats and walked out the door.

* * *

One year ago.

"These complications are seen often with twins. They should be fine they are just going to need some extra care. Once they are about two they can have the surgery to fix the problem. Basically they have holes in their hearts. It's just strained genetics. Most likely from Killian having such a wore heart it created problems during development."

"But everything will be okay in the end right?" Emma asked.

"I would say Liam and Grace have a very good chance of having normal lives after this is fixed. They are just going to have many doctor's appointments for a while." Doctor Whale assured her.

Killian stood up and exited the room. When he came back later Emma could see the puffiness of his eyes.

"Killian it will all be okay." Emma assured him.

"It is my fault. They are sick because of me." He said.

"It's not your fault."

* * *

6 months ago.

"Honey, I'm worried about you dealing with this on your own. When it first came about I knew that Hook blamed himself and I figured he would accept it eventually and help you but it's you doing everything on your own and he sits and drinks rum and tries to deal with the pain." David said.

"I worry about him too. I know he is struggling with everything and I have tried numerous times to talk to him about it so that we can be a team and help one another. He just seems to be lost and sometimes I almost miss the man I fell in love with." Emma replied.

"When you talk to him what does he say?" Mary Margaret asked.

"That he is sorry and he will do better. But he hasn't come to one appointment with me since they were born. I really need him and we constantly argue because of the stress. I just need him on my side and to support me."

* * *

Now.

Emma walked into her parents flat and had tears in her eyes.

"Emma, what's wrong?" David asked.

"Can I stay here? I broke up with Killian. He missed the twin's appointment again. I can't deal with this and him not caring."

Mary Margaret wrapped her arms around her.

"Of course dear. Let's put the twins down for the night and I'll make you a nice cup of hot cocoa and cinnamon." Mary Margaret said.

Emma was laying in the spare room trying to sleep when her phone went off.

K: _Won't you come back home?_

E: _How drunk are you?_

K: _I'm gone. But no further than I've been before. Please forgive me Emma._

E: _I've had my fill of everything Killy. Can we just burn it all and carry on? You're free._

* * *

6 weeks later

"How are things with your kids?" Robin asked.

"Emma sends me pictures and texts me updates every so often." Killian replied.

"Do you miss them being there with you?" Robin said.

"I just want to know why she can't pick up the bloody phone and talk to me. When did technology replace all of our communication?"

"Maybe it is difficult for her. Did you used to talk a lot on the phone?" Robin asked.

"That last year I was pretty messed up. I think she tried to talk to me often and in her mind I was ignoring her when really it was just difficult for me to think that it was my fault that my children were going through all that they are." Killian took another drink and stood up.

"I need to get going home. G'night mate." Killian left the bar.

Killian drank the remainder of the rum he had in his cupboard.

K: _Tell me love, why is technology taking over the relationship we had?_

E: _Go to bed Hook. You'll feel better in the morning._

K: _I am tired of pretending that the pictures are as good as having my children in my arms._

E: _They miss you as well. Good night._

* * *

6 months later.

Killian was walking to the liquor store when he heard a familiar laugh. He caught sight of Emma and a guy he had never seen before walking hand in hand with smiles on their faces.

Emma saw him from the corner of her eye. He looked terrible. She almost wanted to run to him and fix him. But she caught herself. _Can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves Emma._

She was lying in bed that night and her phone buzzed like she almost anticipated it would.

K: _Tell me why._

E: _How far gone are you?_

K: _I'm gone. But no further than I have before._

E: _Were you able to stand for anything at all you wanted?_

K: _I would stand but I'm obliged to crawl at this point._

E: _Burn it all and carry on._

* * *

The next night.

Emma had put the twins to bed and was sitting eating dinner with her parents.

"Emma your phone keeps buzzing." Mary Margaret said.

"I'll get it after dinner." She replied.

There was a knock at the door and David answered it.

"Hook! What are you doing here?" Emma said as she stood up.

"Forgive me." Killian said.

"What do you want?" Emma said.

"Please come back home. I don't want to burn it all. I want to fix this all. I can't live in that house one more night without my family."

"Are you drunk?"

"No. What is it you want from me ? Just tell me."

"You don't really care."

"Tell me, is my time what you want? All I ever wanted was your love."

"Killian." Emma sighed.

"Am I too far gone? Did you give up?" He asked.

"You gotta go Killian. Come on I'll walk you out."

He leaned in and kissed Emma. "Just burn it all baby and rise above." He said.


End file.
